I realize

When I tried to update my blog, it turned into the mess you can still see here; since the JAWS coders wouldn’t give me tech support, I decided to switch blog systems on my friends’ advice ;). To do it, I had to read my old posts, copy-paste them, reset the original timestamp; but at last it’s left with the posts I’d been collecting from ymipollo.com and blooger.com. I think I have a backup.sql somewhere, so I’ll look for it and add it.

But what does all this have to do with the post’s title? Well, while pasting my old posts… I read how my life has gone in a year: – I used to be out partying, clubs, here and there… I read in one post that I was bar-hopping from 2 a.m. to 2 a.m.… and that was before I met her… Many who read this know who she is… but starting August 14, 2004, everything changed for me.
It was a positive change, because I didn’t stop getting drunk because of her, I just stopped wasting my time and money on something senseless… what I had waited for so long… arrived. In this post: Nuevas Alumnas.. uhmmmmmm!!! was where I mentioned her.
In 15 days I met a beautiful being I fell in love with, in 15 days I found what I’d been looking for for two and a half years… but now, I’ve been apart from her for a month, without feeling what I treasured, a month that my heart has resented; I’ve cried, I’ve screamed, I’ve despaired, I’ve done everything.
Holy Week was great being with her, not the way I would’ve wanted, but at least I shared time with her feeling a bit nostalgic..

Easter week was a challenge for me, she would leave for Mexico City, where she couldn’t get online and we had both burned through our cell credit during Holy Week.
What did I feel? Calm, because in Manzanillo I realized many things, we love each other, a lot I believe. But this separation is necessary so we can see where we failed and why we got to this point. Her coldness, my outbursts… everything.
I haven’t seen her for a week, but I long for, I desire with all my soul to see her and talk to her.
I hope everything continues with the same love as at the beginning, but stronger in our love.

Lilian, I love you little one. You know how much because I’ve shown you.

Listening to Sylver – Forever in Love, I feel Melancholy